what if it works?
I had been dating my unemployed boyfriend for only three months when he asked me to move from San Francisco to Boston for his new job.
So I did what I always did back then.
I asked everyone what their opinion was.
What if you break up? Where will you work? What if you hate living together (I’d never lived with a bf before)? What if…?
I called up my mom to get her advice about my cross-country move and she responded: what if it works?
I was stunned by her response because all of my friends were making me question myself.
I mean, we had just started dating. Could I do this? Could we make this work?
At the time I was smitten (obvs) and was searching outside for all of the answers.
When my mom said “what if it works?” I knew in my heart-mind she was right.
Until then, I’d been looking externally (asking friends, co-workers, literally anyone who’d listen) for what my gut already knew to be true.
And here’s what my mom already knew (that I had forgotten) that really helped me:
In 2008 I moved to Peru. I lived there for a year all by myself.
I had built up the skills and self-trust to make a new plan if it didn't work out.
Actually, I was forced to do that because I was alone.
I finally decided to take her mantra as my own.
We moved to Boston for 3 years and 3 months to advance my partner’s career.
And quite honestly, It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Because we found our cat. (Btw I actually hated living on the east coast and I am grateful we found our cat there on the street.)
Inu and me on our cross-country roadtrip back to San Francisco in our Miata.
Oh and also we’re married with a child now after moving back to our dream city.
And if I hadn’t taken that leap, I’m sure I would be in a different loving partnership. (I mean have you met me? I’m a catch!)
And so, I ask you… right now friend, what if it works?
What if you get the very thing you’ve been afraid to get after?
What if you get exactly the job you want?
What if you can “do it all”?
A lot has changed over the past two years that many of us haven't taken stock of yet.
Our values, priorities and needs have changed.
Ask yourself:
Who am I now after spending almost two-years in a pandemic?
Who am I now, having bought a new house in another city?
Who am I now as I realize that this job I’m in has lost its luster?
Who am I now trying to make sense of my new “mom” identity?
And when you answer the next question to ask is:
What’s the best possible outcome if you truly step into the courage needed to get EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT?
Because my friend, what if it works out?
What if it works out for you, for your life and career EXACTLY as you dreamed and expected?
In the “Trance of Scarcity”, Victoria Castle remarks, “You don’t attract what you want, or even what you deserve. You attract what you expect.”
Yes fear, doubt, imposter syndrome are going to show up because you haven’t had to do anything like this before.
And I promise you’ll be exactly where you expect next year. Whatever that means for you.
Are you willing to see where you could end up if you expected it to work out?
Lovingly yours,
Nic
